The key to staying married is deciding not to get a divorce. It's that simple. Is it that simple for you?
What kind of marriage advice or wedding bell blues story do you have to confess?
Check out these true confessions from our visitors:
"I love you, and I hate that I have to divorce you after all this time because I secretly cheated, and got pregnant"
"I am willing to love you and be loyal to you for the rest of our lives."
"We are perfect together in so many ways and fundamentally we belong together.
But over time, your anger has caused some very serious rifts in our connection.
You have said you would change and treat me better and you have not. It is truly
heartbreaking and such a shame. I have gotten to the point where I have let myself
go and that is not like me. I am a strong woman and I will be treated as such.
Your behavior is unacceptable and I will not condone it any longer. Shape up or
ship out buddy. "
"I feel so lonely being with you. I wanted you to want me as much as I wanted
you, but I feel like I'm the only one wanting to be together."
"You are not who I thought you were "
"I love my partner and I believe he loves me. But it's hard to know sometimes
because he's not a very affeftionate person. And tends to point out flaws.
He does it in a playful way.. But sometimes it makes me doubt him. I dont
want to ever be in a relationship where he says he loves me but only with
his words not his actions. I think were just both going through a confusing
time. And I'm going to stay with him for now.. Because that's what love is.
Love is being devoted even when the butterflies don't seem to be there..
But knowing all along that they'll come back soon. You just need to be patient.
~getting through this.. still together.. Still forever "
"sometimes you make me feel like im so alone. you shame me for what i like. why don't you support me?
why don't you contribute to the relationship? i hate you sometimes but i love you still. you make
me feel like im insane. i deserve to be happy."
"i love you but i feel you dont love me anymore even though you say you do.. you want to love me"
"The first time i met you i liked you. The first time we became friends
i loved you. The first time we came boyfriend and girlfriend i wanted
to marry you. And now that we engaged....... i wanted to have kids with
you but thats never going to happen. You were my best friend, my first
love, my first boyfriend, my everything. They say things happen
for a reason you were everything i wanted, everything i needed and you
hurt me and God knows what he is doing and if we were meant to be fate
will bring us together but know that i will always and forever LOVE You
my one and only first love"
"I never imagined that our relationship would end up being so fragile and unpredictable"
"I know i was at fault in the beginning, but ur true self started being shown to me, the
angry you. We continued to see each other thinking we'd marry each other but in the end,
you proved that we were incompatable and u dont respect me as a person. Hope u can be a bit
more understanding as a man. And learn to respect others, whatever they do whatever they r"
"I love you but you need to realize that when you immediately dismiss everything I say it
makes me feel like I don't matter to you."
"You used to be so sweet, so funny, and very caring. Of course everyone has flaws
but you were so sweet to me I didn't mind them. But recently You're not trying to
woo me anymore! You've become lazy and rude and boring. I no longer find you
attractive because of this. I still love you, but I'm not IN love with you. I
want the old you back. "
"I love you but I am not in love with you. We have had a successful relationship
for five years but now that has come to an end. This doesn't feel right anymore."
"You were my best everything. I'd do it over if I could, just without
the fighting and rules. I'll always love you and hope one day we can
get back what we had. Until then I'm going to try and be the best
version of me. "
"You make me feel completely insignificant. You constantly tell me
about how much fun you have with your friends but you don't seem
able to have fun with me. I can't keep getting hurt by the one
person who means the most to me."
"I wish you would be more loving and really show me you care, especially now.
I love you and in my heart I know you love me, but I wish you'd show it more
and not care what others think. I wish you'd make me feel like I am special
more often."
"I feel like we love each other just not in love anymore. We are out of our
element staying in another state 16hrs away from home, staying at his bosses
house and on top of it all i have feelngs for his boss & he does for me to. i
love my man dont get me wrong im just not happy anymore. we never have sex or
kiss or even hug it feels like we are roommates. We have been together 9years,
never once has he asked me to marry him. When we are together, its like we cant
stay clean, always doing something, we have a 3year old daughter that is back
home visiting my parents why we try and get on our feet but it feels like its
never gonna happen so im lost & confused on what to do helppp please"
"i love you. so damn much but you cant even pay attention to me. i dont
want to leave but this isnt healthy and i dont know what else to do to try
to make this work. im exhausted. make a freaking effort. please."
"Due to your stressful job you seem to be more disrespectful towards me..
I do so much for you , all the housework , office work for your business
plus I work part time.. You work 6 days a week, in a high pressure job..
I'm getting sick of you always being stressed and moody..
You don't appreciate me as much anymore.. There's just too much stress
in our lives from you , and I don't feel I can live with it anymore .. "
"I am just not sure we are suited well enough to be together very long-term.
I am wondering if I am getting bored with her company or just me not wanting
to commit. I don't know if I'm in love which may mean I'm not."
"I don't even enjoy going home to her anymore. "
"I'm sorry for hurting you, and I'm sorry for believing that we couod raise
our daughter together. I knew from the start that you weren't right"
"I'm really sorry. I know you love me, it's just I don't feel the same way anymore."
"I'm living a lie. I deserve better than you and you better than me."
"Last night I found you repulsive for a split-second and it scared me. I hate
feeling that way about you. I'm scared this is the end. "
"We both must be much more brave if we are ever to be happy."
"I wish you cared more...... It just feels like im an effort for you, this
relationship is an effort.... But ive been pulling my weight... You havent"
"You make me feel more ignored than loved, you say 'I love you' as if
it fixes everything."
"I thought you were true. I thought you loved me sincerely. I thought you loved me for life. I thought you would never hurt me. "
"I love you to death and I know that we've had so many amazing memories together.
But you don't seem to want to try and show me that you deserve me and you always
want me to make the first move. I'm not always gonna be acting like Prince Charming.
And I'm not always going to be walking in the door to an argument about me not
giving you a hug or something when I had other important things to do. Either
start showing me that you care about losing me, or I think things are over."
"Darling, I just wish I could look into your beautiful mind when you get
so upset. Just to see what you're thinking. To hear your opinion.
I know it's hard for you to explain and express yourself, but I just
really want to hear your voice. I want you to work things out with me.
I love you, but as it is right now, I can't live with someone who cannot
even tell me their opinion or discuss with me when it's really needed,
when we really need to work things out. I won't lose hope on us.
We will get through this somehow, Honeybear. I love you so much."
"You really should trust on your significant other!"
"I love you a lot you've really helped me grow as a man but you make it hard for
me to love you. My patience runs deep but you push me to my limit each day.
Idk how I can make you change for me even though I change for you. "
" I love her till death and if she can't hold the temptations of other guys than we're
officially done. There will be no talking about it and I will probably cry every night
but i just don't wanna loose her cause i love her more than anything."
"I don't feel completely comfortable. Sometimes I think about what it'd be
like to be with or sleep with someone else. I still think about my ex every
now and then. And she called me the other day. We just kind of chit chatted,
but I wonder what it'd be like with her. Sometimes I feel in love with you and
other times I dont. Something's you do, just make me bitter or something.
Like the way you tear people and things down with your mom. It's very
unattractive. But I'm scared to leave you because I also feel like
I might not ever find someone like you. The way we trust each other
and love on each other, it's beautiful and warm and safe and sweet
and cute and I love it. I'm also scared about things getting in the way
of my career, or my want/need to travel. And so far you haven't really
done that, but it just feels like it complicates those things for me a bit.
Like I have to plan them around you. And Its nothing you do. I kind of
just want to be single and just live life on my terms. I don't know if
I'm ready for such a serious, committed relationship. I'm not ready to be
married. I want to explore and grow and learn and expand my mind. And
I partially feel like I'm sitting still. I just feel weird. I don't feel
completely content, and I don't know what that means. Because I also don't
feel so strongly that it's an obvious option that I don't want to be with you.
I want to be with you. I want to love you whole heartedly and completely.
I want to obsess over you and be with you all the time. But I don't entirely
feel that urge either. I feel confused. "
"Fuck you n have a good life"
"We have to keep moving forward or it's not a relationship. If all we can do is sit and watch
movies or go out for dinner, we might as well be friends, and I'm not lookinh for just a friend"
"I feel like we're on two different pages of two different
books of completely different genres that just so happen
to coexist in the same location and at the same time and
have the same ironic twist. Nothing about us is close to
making sense, but somehow I need you and you need me and
we can't end things because we might need each other in
the future. I don't know what to call what we have, but
when it's wrong, it's crushing pain and when it's right,
it's unending bliss. It's just been wrong an awful lot and
the memory of that bliss is being ripped from my soul."
"I deserve better. I might nag but with reasoning. I love you very much and want a
future with you but again if you don't change being so mean,hateful,uncaring,unloving
and unsupportive with me. Keep being silent because sooner or later Ill be out of your life.
All i want is you to be there for me. I try so hard to make you happy when all you think
your job is,is to work your job and all i give to you i through my obligation of being your
spouse and its not its through love from my heart. Take it or leave it. On top of the things
i nag again we've been together over 4 years don't you think its time to finish divorcing your
baby mama? Or will i never be worthy?"
"I live with Dr. Jeckyl & Mr. Hyde, although it's not really living. It's walking on
a tightrope of eggshells while balancing 2 kids, (including a teen), a full time job,
a house, and a never-ending streak of unfortunate events...with servitude and donning the
masque of a smile. This feat is possible, however impermanent, for whether it is due to
some of the things I choose to share w/you that cause unpleasant reactions,
(ultimately and IRREVOCABLY changing the atmosphere & mood of the day/evening)
or you can't stop listening to your inner-darkness and will quickly become the
cold-shouldered, cynical, pessimistic nay-sayer of anything and everything in
your sight or earshot....these occurrences are increasingly more and more frequent,
subsequently revealing the inevitable outcome with which you delight using to administer
threats if I want to spend time with friends WITHOUT you (gasp!)…..that you & I aren’t
meant to be. The thought first came to me last weekend & shortly thereafter,
that you don’t care if you’ve hurt my feelings because you are permanently
convinced you are completely justified in behaving the way you do,
insulting/disrespecting me. If we don’t break up, I will end up in
the bathtub w/a blocked door & an empty house. No one in my own house respects
me. No one speaks my love language here. No one cares about my feelings.
I can’t stop crying about that or the fact that you debate w/me on everything.
Why do you treat me like this? Why can’t you be nice to me for a whole 12 hours---no
sarcasm or making fun of me? Tell me I’m smart for a change. Agree with me on anything.
Anything at all in the entire world. If you told me I had a good point, I would faint.
Or that I’m smart, or hot, or funny, or fun to be around. I'm forgetting myself.
I used to be beautiful and fun, but all you see now is the shell that remains.
Thank you for reminding me that I'm nothing without you, but I think I was
everything before you."
"She's an idiot and a horrible Mrs in herself. Just looks beautiful... Yet scares me deeply."
"I here about your problems ALL of the time... I know I shouldn't, but I get so sick of it."
"we have a child together, but its obviously the only reason we're still together. We should end this sooner than later."
"If you would care as much as you did in the beginning things would be better. I have never
felt so used and betrayed in my life. This is not the life I had planned for us.
Your selfishness must come to an end, stop thinking of yourself and think of us."
"I really hate you I want to leave but I like the house we live in. I love your mother but I hate your
brother and your son.i don't really like talking to your mother though it's always awkward like she
hates me. You have a gambling problem an emotional problem and I know you don't like the way I look
anymore. We rarely have sex and where I work so many people want me and I've been thinking about sleeping
with anyone at this point just for a little affection..just to feel wanted. I call my ex sometimes.
I called him when you were in the next room one night. I hate sleeping next to you now and Im so
used to you not touching me it makes me sick when you actually do. I kind of want you to see this
note so we can have a good excuse for you to move out. You make me feel so worthless all the time.
I give you 90% of my paychecks every single pay period while you blow your money on whatver you want.
It's extremly rare if you go out and buy me anything. I'm forced to shop at second hand stores for clothes
even though you have a great job you could care less about what I need. You are the most selfish person
I have ever met and I really really really hope to find an excuse to finally end this miserable relationship .
I'm waiting on the day you finally cheat to get the ball rolling. I thought I was so in love but I think I only
loved the feeling of being needed...by needed I mean used...completely used up. I was the one to finish your degree
to even get the better job you have now. I have no degree because I focused on yours did every single homework
assignment every report...I even took online classes under your name. Not even a thank you. I hate you and
I'm going for a drive now. "
"I really wish I could talk to you about my concerns without it turning into a huge, dramatic, emotional
contest. I just want to be heard and share my feelings in a way that feels safe:("
"Your drive me crazy. We are both a little nutty but you've been my rock for almost 20 years! I will
alway be with you ... 1h.1s.1l wink"
"I would like you to be more connected to me as a bf missing me in that way vs. only as a
companion to keep connected to and share trip updates / someone to come home to as a foundation.
I would like to feel that I am the person you could never live without, even giving up some things
if that meant it would sacrifice our bond and nurturing our relationship. I wish you had a more
clear vision of what the future holds in your life because if we are together it means that you
are causing me to not be as clear on my future. You say not in a rush for marriage, me neither -
but what about even showing me that if you were down the road I would be the person? You now say
you would like to possibly live internationally or charity work in Korea agency without a breath
because I don't think it even occurs to you that it would sever what we have + you never even
take the moment to think about how that would land on me. You are such a wonderful person, but
you really should practice acknowledging without defensiveness to better understand the feelings
of others you are close to. "
"I think you're awesome, I really like spending time with you, but I don't feel like you're
the one I settle down with for the rest of my life."
"I hate what a mommas boy you are. I hate the way you get into fights with her and take it
out on me. I hate the way you treat me when you are stressed out. You get mad and say
hurtful things until I cry then you tell me you were just playing and wanted to get me
riled up. I don't feel attractive around you. You are so lazy during sex. I hate that
I love you. I don't understand how I still love you with how crappy you treat me half the time.
It's dangerous loving you, when you intentionally do and say things to hurt me. I don't know
what I could do to make it better. I don't know what I do to deserve how you treat me.
I deserve better."
"I love you so much but I don't want to keep fighting."
"I need you to stop being so angry and get your shit together or we will never work."
"I love you but we argue too much"
"I think you need to fix things so we can have a better relationship if you want to reach
the things we have talked about."
"I Love you more than anything on this planet but I can't be with you if you keep shutting me out.
At the first sign of trouble I'm always the first one you push away. I want someone who
wants me just as much. "
"If we communicated better I think we would have a clearer picture of who we could be."
"You don't have to react to everything. It's okay to allow things to just exist, that doesn't make them good or bad. Somethings just are. So just chill."
"We should see a marriage therapist."
"Start making some changes or maybe we should call it quits."
"I wish you could understand me and work with me to make this relationship healthier.
I wish we could communicate better."
"I just wished he would notice and make effort."
"We have been in a marrage for more than 10 years never have we been able to consumate Our marrage,
I've tried to talk about it resulting in little or no action"
"I love her, but I hate feeling pushed into a wall, unable to voice my concern, and fear of you getting angry. I'm not sure if that's something I can deal with
every single day when I only try my hardest to provide you with all I can, no matter how imperfect I am."
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